


Compromise

by orphan_account



Category: Insatiable (TV 2018)
Genre: M/M, Manipulative Barnard, Mentions of Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 02:54:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15899466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sometimes it's as easy as saying 'I can't live without you'.Barnard is a little desperate, despite the front he shows. Too desperate to play fair, certainly. What he doesn't realize, is that it's an area Bob has expertise in.





	Compromise

 

 

 

The thing about Bob Barnard, and this he knows about himself, is that he is scheming. Even that seems too harsh of a word, better than manipulative though. The point is, he thinks about where he's going and he gets there. He thinks about six pack abs and works out until it's a reality. He thinks of domestic bliss and normalcy and progeny and he gets it.

He thinks about Bob Armstrong.

It wasn't his intention, perhaps, to 'get' him. More like a compulsion. Because Armstrong did not fit into his plans anywhere. His whole plan was built to be a getaway from Armstrong.

But now that he is planning though - once he takes in the factors of Coralee, Patty, Brick, Roxy and Stella Rose, and most importantly Bob himself - well, Coralee doesn't stand a chance.

 

 

 

It's a little extreme, a lot melodramatic and sort of out of character.

He thinks about everything he's told Bob that can be used to his advantage. About sleeping with Stella Rose in order to feel closer to him. About being in love with him since he was fourteen. About pulling his pigtails.

Just maybe he's gotten complacent. Believed too much that once Armstrong gave in he'd be a reformed gay man. That the strength of that alone would trump 20 years of marriage. He doesn't know how he could have been so stupid. Especially after the three way. Ill advised and really, he'd only done it for Bob.

He _knows_ Bob is the thing - it's why he's in love with the man.

Bob's not a saint. Except that, a weak moment twenty years ago doesn't mean all that much. Barnard still remembers Stella Rose crying against his chest - sniffling how Bob was going to leave Coralee but then they'd found out she was pregnant.

Bob had more or less been forced to leave one love for the other. His true love, as Stella Rose told it. Bob does right by Coralee because he loves her. And Barnard has a sneaking suspicion it's a solid, filial love and less a romantic one but somehow that's almost worse. It's more steadfast.

Barnard can't even be mad. He's been in love with Bob since he was fourteen. Bob's only been in love with him for the past week. And had Barnard not pushed, Bob may have never gotten into his bed.

Only - Bob must know that Barnard is best for him. Or he wouldn't have come that night. Still, Barnard recognizes the importance of Bob's panic stricken face in the restroom. And oh - Barnard had been so ready...right then and there. Barnard refuses to believe it's a heterosexual bout of sexual confusion.

 

And always, Barnard gets what he wants.

 

 

 

The conversation goes something like this:

"Thanks for picking up. We need to talk." Barnard says straight off the bat.

"Right now? It really isn't a good time," there's background noise but then Bob startles as if in realization, "If you're trying to get out ahead of Coralee-"

"I'm not. I promise." Barnard lies calmly.

"I still can't come." Bob sighs, "Can't we do it over the phone?"

Barnard takes a shaky breath.

"I...I just wanted you to know, that you make my life worth livin' and without you..." Barnard's proud of the way the rest of the sentence hangs in the air, morbidly filling in blanks. His tone, more than anything, sells it.

He definitely has Bob's full attention.

"I..." Bob starts, then stops.

"I'm not sure I could live without you." Barnard says, small and quiet, almost like he doesn't mean to be heard.

"Hold on. I-I'm coming right over." Bob stutters into the phone, "Don't do anything stupid!"

 

 

 

Bob is shaken when he arrives. Barnard doesn't waste anytime tipping them into bed. It's easy enough, Bob is more scattered than usual and his protests are easily swept aside.

And then, they are making _love_.

"Love being inside you." Barnard praises breathlessly, "your legs all wrapped around me, all pretty like."

"Yeah." Bob echoes mindlessly.

Tears are starting to gather in his eyes. And of course Barnard knows what that is about. Coralee. He hikes one of Bob's thighs up and presses into him at just the right angle.

"She'll still love you." Barnard insists, "It'll just be a little different."

That only makes Bob cry harder. Barnard finishes them both though, because if he acknowledges Bob's grief he's not sure what will happen.

"I can tell her, if you like." Barnard says afterward, guilty.

"I'll tell her." Bob insists dryly.

But then he turns and lays his head on Barnard's shoulder.

Barnard can't stop his heart from thumping, butterflies from fluttering in his stomach.

He grips him tight.

 

 

 

Barnard of course, isn't really suicidal. He's lived decades without the man but he can't deny it'd probably break him a little to lose him now. Losing him, the thought is unthinkable.

Barnard is convinced it's the right move. Ideally, Bob would have chosen him. Ideally he'd only sped up the process. Maybe Bob would have picked Coralee and then years from now - when he couldn't have done without what was missing...and of course Barnard would still be waiting.

The point is, Barnard has kind of done them all a favor.

He doesn't feel bad about it, although the means leave a little to be desired. He maybe feels a little bad about how earnest and loving Bob is as a result of the means.

Bob doesn't allow himself to grieve over his and Coralee's relationship, instead he's gentle with Barnard and caring and oh so attentive. Making sure he's okay.

Barnard laps it up.

 

 

 

Much later.

It's a quiet morning in bed, and Barnard has an arm wrapped around Bob, when he turns to him and says,

"You wouldn't have done it, would you?" Expression tired, and yes - knowing.

"Done what?" Because honestly in that moment Barnard doesn't know what Bob's asking.

Bob averts his eyes, let's his gaze fall.

"You shouldn't have used that. I- it was cheap. You shouldn't have threatened to -"

"Now hang on." Barnard says, sitting up, gesticulating, "I didn't threaten."

Bob just sighs, like he's disappointed in him. There's something else there too though, that Barnard doesn't recognize. Something like self consciousness, and a deep dismay.

"You know I would have picked you, right?" Bob says, and the statement freezes Barnard's breath in his throat. "I just - I'd done it given enough time. Just - you shouldn't have done that. Said that."

Barnard doesn't get what the big deal is. But he doesn't care. Because he's just found out that Bob would have picked _him_. He grins, despite himself and that breaks Bob's bad mood. He rolls his eyes, but he's smiling gently.

"You're fucking beautiful." Barnard says, matter of factly.

He doesn't ask when Bob realized, he doesn't give it much thought at all.

 

 

 

Barnard hates spending time with Patty - it almost feels like a rivalry for Bob's affections.  Doesn't know why Bob forgives her, but he does so Barnard keeps his mouth shut.

It means more when he learns - eventually, because he's the last to know - that she saved Magnolia. It's maybe that fact that saves him from freaking out about learning of the murders.

"Just relax." Bob says, hands coming up in surrender before soothing over Barnard's stiff shoulders.

"It wasn't all my fault." Patty pouts.

Barnard opens his mouth to say something but Bob cuts him off,

"She's right actually. It was self defense. Mostly."

"Besides," Patty continues, "You're lucky I did or Magnolia and Bob would both be dead."

"Stella Rose was gonna - " Barnard asks, to clarify even after hearing the whole story.

"No Bob was -" Patty starts but doesn't finish because Bob flails viciously at her.

"Patty!" He hisses and it's then that Barnard wants to know more. He needs to hear if Bob was in danger.

The danger has obviously passed now though and that makes him loose and giddy. He flashes the girl a grin.

"Well really?" He intones insultingly.

That sets her off.

"Patty! Patty no!" Bob tries to grab hold of her but she slips from his grip.

"I'd wipe that grin off my face if I were you. He almost killed himself!" Her anger at the fact is very real, tone solidly refuting a colloquialism. And that's why Barnard doesn't doubt it even before he looks to Bob and sees him cringing, eyes shuttered and looking anywhere but at Barnard.

It in fact does wipe the smile off his face.

He clears his throat but it's some minutes before he can speak.

"Excuse me Patty, but Bob and I need to talk."

She gets the picture - for once, thankfully, and leaves.

"Sorry" she says, squeezing Bob's forearm on her way out. He doesn't rip his arm from her grasp but it's a close thing.

Then they are alone.

Bob looks nervous, looks embarrassed and ashamed.

"I-It's not a big deal!" he begins with.

Barnard, for his part, feels blindsided.

A sickness in the pit of his stomach.

"How were you gonna do it?" The words are out before he can think better of it.

"Who says I was gonna -" before Bob can continue Barnard closes in on him and puts a hand on his arm.

"Bob." He says simply, firmly.

"Gun." His voice is high, straining, "-a-and I know it's not what you would have done. Obviously since you lied about that."

"I feel like shit about that."  Barnard says. And he hadn't until a moment ago.

Until he realized he'd paraded around a real life issue but most importantly one that's affected someone he loves.

Suicide.

It's _scary_.

"Sure." Bob answers glumly.

Barnard thinks of the compassion Bob treated him with after. Wonders if anyone was there for Bob at all and thinks it's probably a no.

Barnard sits heavily on the couch and pulls Bob along with him.

"I didn't mean for you to find out." Bob starts babbling.

"I get that." Barnard says, gravel in his voice.

He runs a hand up through Bob's hair, cups his cheek.

He doesn't know what to say.

Bob fitfully relaxes into his caresses.

Barnard wants to ask why, but of course he knows.

"I love you." Bob sighs.

Barnard wants to make Bob promise he'll never do anything like that again. He uses the filter of this new realization to examine the past - all those little moments that maybe didn't sit right with him before.

"That wasn't the first time you tried." Barnard says quietly.

Bob only shakes his head and leans into him.

"I'm not angry." Barnard says, although he is.

He's wildly angry, he's terrified, something like panic sitting deep in between his ribs.

He kisses Bob sweet, gentle, and generally doesn't know what to do.

"If you..." Barnard starts lowly, "I can't live without you."

This time, he means it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
